Wednesday, March 11, 2009

We have the technology

"Israeli Apartheid Week" 2009

Monday, March 2nd: Part 2
Ryerson University

A friend handed me a few homemade flyers to distribute to the crowd in the lobby. I asked her for more and she scoffed, "You want more? Really? Hand those out first and then ask me for more."

She was surprised when I returned and asked for more... twice.

Now, I wouldn't want to call anyone an anti-Semite, but I noticed that the pro-Palestinians were more likely to accept a flyer from me than from a Jewish person. Their faces showed confusion when I brightly asked if they wanted a flyer and they looked from the flyer to my face and back again. Could their eyes be fooling them? I wasn't wearing an Arafat-scarf, so it was a quick judgment call. Was I for or against their ideas?

I didn't fool two young, black, hijab-wearing Ryerson students, though. They read the cover of the flyer and exclaimed, "Are you kidding?"

A few minutes later, they approached me and started to ask questions. Not friendly questions, mind you: one girl started off by demanding a yes or no answer to the question, "Do you support Israel's actions in Gaza?"

When I said yes, their heads went back, eyes raised to the ceiling, their hands flew into the air and they shouted, "Oh-Ho-o-o-oh!" They had me pegged, alright, and they were going to make me answer for Israel's "war crimes".

Our ensuing discussion demonstrated to me that Canada's schools are doing a terrible job of teaching young people to use logic and reason. The "arguments" these girls used were either incorrect or just plain lies. Underlying it all was an appeal to the base emotions of pity and hatred. Logic? Statistics? Theology? What have they got to do with tugging at heartstrings? Palestinian babies are being killed as we speak!

Higher Learning Lesson #2: It's all one big sob story and Israel is always to blame.

The first thing one girl said was that the situation in Gaza is "exactly the same as the Holocaust". She said it with a straight face, too. Never mind that most of the hundreds of Gazans who were killed during Operation Cast Lead were terrorists, compared to the 12 million people who died in the Holocaust.

When they countered with, "It's ethnic cleansing," I replied, "The population in Gaza is booming, actually."

"But Israel is bombing our mosques! It's our holy place! Do you support the bombing of mosques? What would you do if someone bombed a church? It's your holy place! I'm a Muslim and I wouldn't want someone to bomb a church!"

"If someone was stupid enough to store munitions inside a church," I said, "I'd tell the government to bomb the hell out of it."

Shock! Horror! And I call myself a Christian!

The girls laughed in derision when I said that Israel has the technology to detect weaponry that is stashed inside or beneath apartment buildings and mosques. Those images had obviously been faked, they said; I shouldn't trust anything unless it appears on the BBC's UK-based website.

A few minutes later they told me, again with straight faces, that Israel has the technology to distinguish between men, women and children and is using it to target and kill women and children.

Let me get this straight: Israel can see teeny-tiny private parts on its radar screens but not big, honking missiles and launchers.

"Hey, big fella, is that a missile launcher in your pocket or are you just trying to evade Israeli technology, inshallah?"

To be continued...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Dorks in Snow Pants for Israel

"Israeli Apartheid Week" 2009

Monday, March 2nd: Part 1
Ryerson University
Wait... I was the only one wearing snow pants? You're sure about that?

It was extremely cold: the City of Toronto had already declared a cold weather alert and we were close to a cold weather warning by the time I left my warm, cozy home.

At such low temperatures, the battery on my video camera drains quickly, so it spent most of the evening tucked between the layers of my short-sleeved t-shirt, long-sleeved t-shirt, sweatshirt and coat. (Thus adding to the lumpiness of my frumpiness.)

I deftly avoided what they used to call a "power-out situation" on the subway line by hopping onto a streetcar for the last leg of my trek. (Yeah, okay, dames in snow pants don't hop, they squeak, squeak, squeak along. It was more like a hop, squeak and a jump onto the streetcar, with a squoosh of air leaving the snow pants as I sat down.)

Once downtown, I was gladdened by the sight of several Israeli flags held aloft by the pro-Israel crowd outside Ryerson University. I picked up a flag and stood in solidarity with them.

My friend arrived and we entered the lobby, grateful for its warmth, and stood patiently in line: me first, then some Jewish friends. As we reached the front of the line, the male, Muslim bouncers closed the doors and announced that the room was full. We had lined up late, so I knew there was a chance we might not get in.

I stood there, first in line, with my Jewish friends behind me, and waited, convinced I would be the next person to enter the lecture hall. I was baffled, then disgruntled, as the bouncers started to pick various people from behind us in the line-up and let them into the auditorium. When my petite, middle-aged, female friend moved to follow some of them into the room, one of the bouncers physically blocked her upper body with his arms and pushed her away. I protested, so he apologized and backed off.

The people around me noticed what was happening and we started to grumble. Ignoring our complaints of "Apartheid Toronto!", the security guards let in about a dozen people from here and there in the crowd behind us.

One bouncer said, "They're organizers. It wouldn't be fair for them not to see it."

I didn't believe him because the people he let in were not dressed in any particular way (except their keffiyehs) and were not wearing badges; most did not approach him at the door but instead stood silently in line.

Remember the scene in Zoolander when Derek greets celebrities at a nightclub? "Hey, Paris." It was like that, only the celebrities were the ones wearing hijabs or keffiyehs and they all had the same name. "Hey, pro-Palestinian!" Same difference.

More smug bouncers arrived at the auditorium doors as if they'd received a warning on their headsets: "Grumbling alert! Quick, send reinforcements!"

They weren't interested in the unfairness of it all. Social Justice is a one-way street in Palestine.

They announced that we had to move several feet to the left to clear the doors. Well, that made sense in terms of fire safety, but I didn't want to lose my place at the head of the line. I wound up third in the new line-up but it didn't matter: first or third, I wasn't getting in. After 10-15 minutes, we gave up and dispersed.

Higher Learning Lesson #1: Get there early so the bouncers have no excuse for keeping you out. Once the lecture starts and the doors close, they will only let in obvious Muslims, known allies and keffiyeh-wearers.

Islamic Security Apartheid!

To be continued...

Monday, March 9, 2009

So, a Muslim, an Algonquin and a Socialist walk into a university lecture hall...

"Israeli Apartheid Week" 2009

Intro

Listen up!

Out of respect for diversity, no one is allowed to argue with this crowd. In the name of tolerance, disruptions will not be tolerated. During the Q & A after the lectures, they encourage "free speech and open dialogue" but will not permit "racism, sexism or discrimination".

(Whenever you hear, "I believe in free speech but...", the only true part of that sentence is the "but". It's free speech or it isn't. No ifs, ands or buts.)

Furthermore, our free speech does not include the recording of their free speech: Only registered members of the media may photograph or videotape the proceedings. No explanations given.

Don't point at the Palestinian flag and ask why the Canadian flag is not displayed: this is not Canada, it is Turtle Island: can't you read the poster?

And whatever you do, do not say out loud that there is no Palestine: it's right there on their map! Say it with them, now: "Turtle Island to Palestine - Occupation is a Crime". But you may send them your tax dollars anytime.

Late-comers will be barred from entering if they look Jewish or have Jewish friends (an unannounced but demonstrated policy).

Keffiyehs are on sale in lobby for 20 bucks a pop. Instant Palestinian cool!

Sit back and enjoy their denunciations of capitalism, colonialism and apartheid. Be ready to hiss and boo at video showing the university's president speaking positively about Hebrew University and Israel (accompanied by ominous, thumping music blaring from the loudspeakers). Nod sagely at repeated calls for the end of the only Jewish state in the world (the only true democracy in the Middle East).

But it's okay: They're not anti-Semites. Why, some of their best friends are Jews.

To be continued...