Monday, March 9, 2009

So, a Muslim, an Algonquin and a Socialist walk into a university lecture hall...

"Israeli Apartheid Week" 2009


Listen up!

Out of respect for diversity, no one is allowed to argue with this crowd. In the name of tolerance, disruptions will not be tolerated. During the Q & A after the lectures, they encourage "free speech and open dialogue" but will not permit "racism, sexism or discrimination".

(Whenever you hear, "I believe in free speech but...", the only true part of that sentence is the "but". It's free speech or it isn't. No ifs, ands or buts.)

Furthermore, our free speech does not include the recording of their free speech: Only registered members of the media may photograph or videotape the proceedings. No explanations given.

Don't point at the Palestinian flag and ask why the Canadian flag is not displayed: this is not Canada, it is Turtle Island: can't you read the poster?

And whatever you do, do not say out loud that there is no Palestine: it's right there on their map! Say it with them, now: "Turtle Island to Palestine - Occupation is a Crime". But you may send them your tax dollars anytime.

Late-comers will be barred from entering if they look Jewish or have Jewish friends (an unannounced but demonstrated policy).

Keffiyehs are on sale in lobby for 20 bucks a pop. Instant Palestinian cool!

Sit back and enjoy their denunciations of capitalism, colonialism and apartheid. Be ready to hiss and boo at video showing the university's president speaking positively about Hebrew University and Israel (accompanied by ominous, thumping music blaring from the loudspeakers). Nod sagely at repeated calls for the end of the only Jewish state in the world (the only true democracy in the Middle East).

But it's okay: They're not anti-Semites. Why, some of their best friends are Jews.

To be continued...